You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
