i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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