so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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