I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
NoShamevember. You game?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
