If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
