I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
