Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize