I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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