He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
