I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I DEMAND FORESKIN
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
