I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
