You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
