We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
