so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
