I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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