"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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