bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
