Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
