He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She announced her abortion via fbk
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
