You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I died a long time ago.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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