yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
