Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
