are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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