3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
