haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
