I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
