I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
