No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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