Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
