At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
