Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
God I need to hump something, right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
