apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
