and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
