We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if you like me you must not know who I am
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
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dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
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Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole