i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
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was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
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Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.