Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

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  (757): If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans? (269): Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass. http://tfl.nu/u35z
  Replies (13) Good night (2425) Bad night (714)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  how did your night go?

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he asked for my myspace name.

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  (240): how did your night go? (336): he asked for my myspace name. http://tfl.nu/ulv6
  Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (2931)
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  (310): View more from California

  totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.

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  (310): totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous. http://tfl.nu/lqpw
  Replies (93) Good night (7244) Bad night (1959)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?

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  (515): I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive? http://tfl.nu/wveq
  Replies (45) Good night (5759) Bad night (1551)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i just sold back the books i vomitted on

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  (856): i just sold back the books i vomitted on http://tfl.nu/74a4
  Replies (12) Good night (4189) Bad night (1100)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling

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  (708): having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling http://tfl.nu/2wgp
  Replies (8) Good night (3118) Bad night (1154)
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  (760): View more from California

  Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?

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  (760): Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl? http://tfl.nu/fr90
  Replies (10) Good night (1323) Bad night (1309)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.

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  (207): You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's. http://tfl.nu/19cl
  Replies (6) Good night (1965) Bad night (577)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday

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  (262): The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday http://tfl.nu/kdkl
  Replies (3) Good night (1292) Bad night (486)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.

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  (608): I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs. http://tfl.nu/xnbx
  Replies (9) Good night (1408) Bad night (471)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You okay?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread

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  (412): You okay? (1-412): I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread http://tfl.nu/1951
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (518)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.

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  (732): How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity. http://tfl.nu/tije
  Replies (1) Good night (1082) Bad night (265)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor

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  (705): Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/ic3x
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (872)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere

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  (302): well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere http://tfl.nu/jlyo
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (222)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper

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  (318): she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper http://tfl.nu/ei3r
  Replies (3) Good night (692) Bad night (245)

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