So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.