When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize