it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
