got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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