I wanna passion pit in your ass
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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