so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
