So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
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You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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