It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
