Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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