I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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