i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
