guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize