She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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