Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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