I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
