Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
