if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
