batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I cut my penus on the lid.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
