Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
