now i know why i became what i already was.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
