Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
