I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Congratulations! We have a period
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