Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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