FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
