found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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