Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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